The marriage cannot be saved, of course, unless both the Husband and the Wife want to do it. And – that will require a big change if one of you brought domestic violence to the divorce table. If there are children, a decision to try to save the marriage, i.e., your family, requires both parents to answer for themselves the basic question the court asks in every divorce, i.e., what is in the best interests of the children.
Clearly, all will agree that it is best for the children to have and to live with both parents. However, that is true only if the parents can resolve the problems that brought them to the divorce court. But that’s not going to work if one of them is a child beater. Some parents have anger problems. They “lose it” under stress with kids or in arguments with the other parent and resort to physical violence. The anger problem may be increased by alcohol and/or drug abuse or a violent upbringing or family environment. Counseling and/or medical evaluation is always a must because harm may result to family members and, if the police or CPS become involved, children may be removed. Thus, the parents are face to face with the question: “Is this marriage irretrievably broken and is there any reasonable prospect of reconciliation?”
I have had many situations where the foregoing situation existed – and the marriages were saved. Counseling and medical attention can do it. Committed and strong willed parents can make it work. If that cannot be done, the parental rights of a parent – or sometimes even both – may be terminated. These cases are very tough and painful on everyone involved. That’s why the divorce rate is so high. But – there are those rare situations where some people have what it takes to cope and overcome. Think about it. It’s a matter of weighing values by both parties to the marriage and it may be the most important decision you will ever make.
I will discuss infidelity and money and its control in my next two blogs.
If you would like to meet with one of our experienced Attorneys, please call OWENS & PERKINS at 480.994.8824 to schedule your free 30-minute consultation.